I'mPerfectly Made

I work for a local newspaper and credibility is everything.  It's only fair that I transparently introduce myself before we continue.

I'mPerfectly made by God, but accessorized by maturity and molded by my experiences.  I'm not PERFECT but I'm perfectly made by Him.  There is no one else with my VIN number--a limited edition.  And so are you!

I'm a divorced Christian.  I chose not to separate the two descriptors because I was a Christian when I divorced.  As a Christian I believe in the covenant of marriage and I didn't get married to get divorced.  When people tell me congratulations when I tell them I'm divorced, I get very defensive and simply reply, "I didn't get married to get divorced."  I didn't.  It's the honest truth. (Read 1 Corinthians 7 for context to be prepared to follow me if I choose to revisit the subject of marriage and divorce again.  Remember God is guiding me and we must use His navigation--not ours.) I do believe that I was spiritually immature when I got married.  That's okay. A lot of us are when we are in our twenties, thirties, forties...shall I go on? Looking back, God had a plan.  From my marriage I became a mother.  (I'll get to being a mother in a minute.)  

I'm still grieving the death of my marriage--it'll be a year in August. A person can grieve over any loss--person, job, marriage, etc.  I'm not ashamed to say that I am.  My marriage was not perfect but it was a promise I made before God.  A promise that I took seriously with all my heart and soul.  So my heart aches and my soul is broken.  I'm healing and putting the pieces of my life back together everyday.  I believe sometimes you have to tear things down and build it back up for better performance.  Just like a mechanic does when repairing a car.  There are many pieces that are connected and sometimes you have to take the darn thing apart just to figure out what the problem is.

So broken, I chose to see a professional counselor--going on two years now. Yes, I see a certified, trained professional psychologist.  I'm not crazy--I'm hurting just like everyone else in this world.  You will only benefit if you are honest with what you are dealing with and committed to make a change in your life.  I'm choosing to live.  I get depressed often, lose hope and my faith is challenged.  It's called LIVING not dying. But I'm still here.

I'm also a mother to two wonderful sons.  Being a mother of males is by far a spiritual, physical and mental challenge.  Motherhood is a commitment, a privilege and a blessing.  The struggle is real!  My battle is not only what society permeates in our lives, but spiritual.  The Bible speaks clearly about generational curses, defined as negative behavior and thinking passed on from generation to generation.  Everyday I recognize thinking and behaviors of my own that are not of God and I pray for wisdom, repentance and deliverance. As a mother, I have to be cognizant of my words, actions and behaviors.  I want to breathe life, love and hope into my sons every chance I get.  I want them to be God fearing, loving men, respectful and independent thinkers.  We communicate openly and honestly.  We love and hurt.  We laugh and cry.  We also have fun along the way.  I'm not a perfect mother. They teach me lessons everyday. They make me a better mother, a better person, a better woman.

So, you that's a snapshot of who I am now.  Probably not what you expected to hear.  Here what I do know..... 

I'mPerfectly I'mPossible.