Letting go is hard and I still have some unpacked baggage. Some stuff I've held on for almost 20 years. All it does is weigh me down and impede my progress. I've carried this baggage with me from relationship to relationship. Each bag contains a hurt, regret, broken promises or insecurities. Why am I carrying this stuff around?
Shortly after my divorce, I was asked if I were dating. My response was a quick and emphatic, "NO!" I didn't want or need anymore distractions in my life. Do people really divorce on Friday and start dating on Monday? You can tell it's been years since I've been single. The thought of it all was scary and just seemed wrong. It felt like I was cheating! Weird, I know! It was too much. I wanted to make sure that my boys were okay. So, I'm good, but not really.
It's time to unpack.....!
Almost a year later I know God is giving me this time and space to unpack. He does not intend for me to keep carrying around all of these bags. I don't need this on my journey. Philippians 4:19 reminds me, "And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."
The unpacking is a slow but steady process. Some stuff I simply throw away without any thought. Some I give back to the person I took it from. It was theirs to keep anyway. I'm sifting through the rest.
#travelingwithoutbaggage
Reading this made me realize I am still carrying baggage from previous failed relationships. What's sad is I am sure my exes (not many) have long gotten ridden of their baggage and moved on with their lives. The baggage I carry is making sure I don't get hurt again in the future like I have been in the past. Is this working not really because I don't open up my heart to someone new because I am loaded down with the baggage from the past. Sometimes I think I have remained single lately because I am too tired to determine what is real and genuine. Slowly trying to figure out how to travel with out baggage and sift through the rest. I think your blogs will definitely help.
ReplyDeleteKim, you have to figure out how to let it go and in your OWN time. Being single nowadays is scary. You don't know who to trust or to love. Your heart and love is very precious and you should always proceed with caution. I don't want to think that a relationship will complete me. God didn't design us to live that way. Ask God to reveal those bags you can't see or don't recognize. Unpacking is not for the relationship with the other person, it's all for you. Admitting you have too much baggage is a start. You just have to start unpacking one bag at a time. Start with forgiveness.....all of the other bags will open up for you to start cleaning them out!
DeleteNow I have a whole new perspective thanks for helping clarify what the baggage truly means. I did forgive someone that hurt me and we do spend time together now after I refused to speak to him or see him for almost a year. The problem is I find it hard to forget what was said. We have recently been in contact have enjoyed two great outings. I don't want more than friendship because I am afraid the same issues will surface again. He admitted he was wrong and that he made a mistake and of course many apologies were made. Even though he appears to have changed(I am not trying to change him) I am afraid to go beyond the friendship. I don't think being in a relationship defines me and I am OK with being single. I am not okay with being afraid to try again with this person or even someone new.
ReplyDeleteKim, you may have one unpacked bag--trust. I always pride myself on forgiving but I don't forget ANYTHING! I remember every word, facial expression or tone of what was said. The sad part is not forgetting is also not letting go. It took you a year to get to a comfortable place about what happened. I think trust is fueled by our memory or lack of forgetting what someone did to us. You'll find in your heart to trust again when you're no longer afraid.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your heart and voice.