Checking out of Heartbreak Hotel

Last night I checked in Heartbreak Hotel.  I didn't realize I slept there until this morning. It's amazing how you end up places and not know how you actually got there.  But, luckily, I think I know how I ended up there.  I had a brief conversation with someone and it just stirred up some emotions that I've been trying to move beyond.  

Some days are easier than others but I'm getting there one day at a time.  This is a journey.  Some days drag on and on and others zoom by.  Next week will mark a year since my divorce. No need to celebrate or mark it on the calendar.  It just is.

There are days where I think about what I could have done differently.  Some days I feel guilty.  I can't tell you why, but I just do.  Other days my frustration is wrought with anger and resentment.  I'm convinced that I didn't deserve this.  

But wait a minute!  I know you're thinking I was moving beyond this stage. The answer is yes, but I also said that I was imperfectly human.  Yes, I still trust God in this healing process.  I still believe that there is something greater before me.  This period in my life is a season.  But through it all, I'm still hurting and my feelings are real.

One thing I teach my son is to feel and understand his feelings.  He sees me cry from time to time.  It doesn't always mean that I'm sad.  It could mean that I'm overwhelmed with what God continues to do for us although I feel like we don't deserve it.  I giggle or cry out in laughter.  When we both have a case of the giggles and it appears to be contagious between the two of us. He sees me worshipping God just because he is God.  He is learning to express himself too.

However, I'm careful about sharing my emotions of a broken heart.  I don't want him to carry resentment towards his dad.  It wasn't his fault and he couldn't have done anything to change the outcome.  I do teach him that sometimes the ones we love do hurt us.  It doesn't make them a bad person. It just makes them human.  At some point we may hurt someone too!  

So, the key to checking out of Heartbreak Hotel is forgiveness.  I'll have to keep forgiving until it sticks.  Forgetting is the hardest part.  I'm checking out of Heartbreak Hotel this morning.  I don't plan to check back in anytime soon. Luckily my stay was just for one night.

Are you currently staying in Heartbreak Hotel?  Forgiveness is the key to checking out.  Let your stay be temporary.

#HeartbreakHotel  #CheckingOutToday  #MyStayIsTemporary