Moving from the Place of No Longer Good Enough to the Land of Being Too Much

Gender roles are more powerful than we realize. Growing up I spent the majority of my formative years around men.  My dad was one of six brothers and two sisters. In the same lineage I became one granddaughter of five grandsons (for about twelve years.) My two aunts were away in college.  I received my feminine role modeling from my mom's four sisters.  Her two brothers lived hours away.  So, most of my time was spent with boys and men.

I learned to fight like the boys.  I also learned (with the help of my paternal grandmother) how to get the boys to play with my Barbie dolls when they didn't want to be bothered with me.  I realize at forty my grandmother taught me the art of manipulation.  I'm sure she had to exercise this skill with six boys in the house.

Growing up, I washed the cars, mowed the grass and did things that some other girls my age didn't necessarily do or consider.  In most cases I don't recall having a choice. All I ever heard was, "If you don't work, you don't eat." I truly believe that I am among the last generation that will be reared that way.

So, when I got married, I followed the gender roles that my mother set before me.  I cooked dinner just about every night. I'm not talking about Hamburger Helper.  I'm talking a meat, vegetable and couple of starches.  I worked a stressful job, shared the responsibility of paying bills and managed a household.  I cleaned the house and shared the laundry responsibilities.  I made sure we worshipped at church on Sunday and we were organized as a family unit as much as possible. I supported all of my ex-spouses activities that would sometimes require leaving work, picking up my son from school and driving up to almost an hour to support him.  

I was what I considered the Good Wife. I felt like I did everything every good woman and wife should do in a marriage. Then came a day where that didn't seem good enough to keep the marriage together.  I had entered the Place of No Longer Good Enough.  None of those efforts and commitment no longer mattered.  I never claimed to be a perfect wife, but I think that I was a pretty darn good one.  (That's not for you to judge, but it's definitely my opinion.)

While in the Land of No Longer Good Enough, I no longer have a spouse to share the workload. I bought my first home by myself. I work and pay my own bills.  I clean my own house and wash my own car.  I'm a single mother raising a son. Looking in the rearview mirror, I truly believe I was being groomed early in life for this transition. I'm not special. I am like a million other women in this world.

So, what's the problem?  I'm headed to the Land of Being Too Much.

The Land of Being Too Much is where you are labeled that you don't need a man, or you intimidate men or you're too much to handle.  The devil is a liar!  

I'm a woman who is trying to make a life for herself and her son. I'm not going to apologize or change my focus because someone else is focused on what they think they know about me.  Don't label me Miss Independent Woman.  If you would like to apply labels, I prefer the biblical term A Virtuous Woman! Like most women, I have a lot of expectations to meet every day. Many women have to meet the expectations of being a wife, a mother, a Christian, an employee, a daughter, sister, friends and the list goes on.  

I've been in a weird place lately.  I'm tired of being treated like I'm not enough or too much. We all fall short.  Equal opportunity at it's best.  I don't claim to be perfect and excuse me if you think I am. That's your cross to bear not mine. I claim to be I'mPerfectly I'mPossible.  Everyday is a balancing act of dealing with my imperfections while exploring the possibilities of life. It wears on my soul and mind.  Expectations on the job. Expectations from friends.  Expectations from my children.  Sometimes they are more than I can handle.

Once again I'm not going to apologize for being me.  I will not apologize for being a strong woman trying to find her way in this crazy world.

I am a woman who still likes the door opened for her.  I am a woman who will fall in love with your soul.  I am a woman who loves to have fun and enjoy life.  I am a woman who will not put up with being treated less than she deserves and knows her worth.  

I believe my stay in the Land of Being Too Much is temporary.  You have to get to know the true me to know that I'm on my way to the World of I'mPossibilities.

Are you in the Place of No Longer Good Enough or in the Land of Being Too Much?  No worries. You are only passing through if you choose to.  

#PlaceOfNoLongerGoodEnough  #LandOfBeingTooMuch  #PassingThrough  #HeadedtotheWorldofI'mPossibilities