It was until today after spending it with an I'mPossible friend, I recognized there was an elephant in the room that I hadn't acknowledged in my collection.
My friend and I had initially planned our day to be focused on our beginnings of a creative endeavor. We never got there...we opened our laptops but we immediately began feeding our souls with grown folk conversation about relationships, marriage, gender roles and the psychology and sociology list goes on and on. We thrive on piecing the dynamics of relationships and what tears them down or apart. We arrive at the conclusion of the generational divide of our parents and the spiritual desire to guide us beyond saying I do. There was soul searching, laughter, confusion coupled with lunch and retail therapy. But we always end up wanting the same things for different reasons.
Our conversation always include us being candidly honest about each other's experience's and current state of mind. Tonight's conversation ended quite differently. We rounded our conversation talking about generational curses. She acknowledged hers and I discovered more of mine. I had painted a picture for myself and others that my divorce was a statistic or just another curse continuing for another generation.
But wait...most of our conversation had been focused on the generational divide about the motivating factors of why our grandparents or parents married. The obvious reasons of that generation weren't attractive or sexy at all. Did my grandparents or parents marry because it was the right or obvious thing to do? Were the females in lineage line pregnant and HAD to get married? Was it the only way for consensual and monogamous sex without going to hell? I know that these observations sound over the top but may be closer to the truth than we think.
The one thing we realized in sharing our family examples was the lack of detectable emotion in the generation before us. Once again nothing unusual, but something that intrigued us both.
It was then that I discovered my elephant in the room. I spent my entire life exposed to relationships lacking open affection and love. Relationships appear strained, controlling, forced, manipulative and heavily concentrated on traditional gender roles. Relationships rooted in fear and control aren't relationships but emotional slavery. We become slaves to the things that bind our spirits. Breaking the curses require doing and living differently and praying for God's grace to free us. I thought being the Good Wife was good enough and I was socialized to think that would keep my marriage intact. My examples were never based on God's word but tradition or religion. There was a pattern.
Today, I realized that I'm breaking the curse of tradition and ungodly control in relationships. This is not God's love or His destiny for us to purposeful and meaningful lives. Understand that I recognize relationships are not perfect, but they should always have room for love and forgiveness.
The elephant in the room can be alcoholism, forms of abuse, abandonment, pride, addictions, anger,idolatry, sexual sins and the list continues. We all have an elephant collection. What is the elephant in your room? What is the one thing in your life keeping you in bondage? What are you going to do differently?
#TheElephantInTheRoom #AcknowledgeIt #LivingDifferentlyforDifferentOutcomes
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