I started thinking about how easy it is to give others access to our finances and other resources including our hearts. When we give away our hearts we are giving away a whole lot more than we realize. We are giving access to our fears and dreams. We're unlocking our emotional closet and giving them the key. I call it unlimited access.
I did that once, okay twice. I gave away my key but the other person never gave me theirs. I'm not even sure if I asked for access or I may have assumed if you are in a serious relationship or marriage it was a requirement. Never assume anything.
In marriage, I gave a lot of access as a wife should, but divorce forced me to figure out how to get it all back. Some keys I couldn't find. Others I didn't know where I put them. A few just got left behind. They weren't worth looking for. They may all be in the baggage that I unpacked and simply tossed them away.
If you are in a relationship, you don't have to hand over all of your keys and give full access just yet. Some keys shouldn't be handed over until you've entered the covenant of marriage. If you do and the relationship ends, think about what you have to recover to move on. Some keys and access are meant for the one person you promise to spend the rest of your life with. (I initially wanted to use the verb intend rather than promise. I caught myself thinking in divorce mode and not I'mPossible mode. I'm still growing.)
Do not give access to just anyone. That's how we find ourselves going after someone who is not healthy for you emotionally and spiritually. Let's be clear that sexual access creates more issues than our hearts can imagine. Let's be adults. If you are willing to give the unlimited access, are you prepared for the unlimited consequences?
Then in one moment, the relationship has ended and you keep yearning to be with the person you gave full access and they aren't yearning to be with you. The other person didn't share any fears or dreams. They didn't emotionally invest in the relationship or it may have been an unhealthy relationship, but you still want to be with that person. You gave them something that is emotionally or spiritually tied to the core of your being. You've created a soul tie, an emotional bond that connects you to someone else. (We'll talk about the power of soul ties later.) Now you are resentful still wanting access to someone.
It's a tough lesson to learn but you grow from it. When I mentioned in a previous post that I wasn't ready to start dating again, I meant that I was afraid. I've never really dated. I go from the first dinner and movie directly into a relationship. This may not be normal, but it was me. May I emphasize the verb is past tense in the previous sentence. Our emotions are real and very powerful. If I start giving away keys and access with the wrong person, I'll end up losing everything that I'm asking God to restore in my life.
So, I'm in limited access mode. Currently, there's no one but God that requires all access in my life. Yes, the struggle is real but worth the I'mPossible relationship.
#limitedaccess #nomoresoulties #I'mPossiblerelationship
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